Speaking for A friend...

Friday, November 18, 2011

Every scar I have tells a story.

Like the times when I fell off my bike, the times when I scraped my arm while climbing that tree, and the times the bitch broke my heart.

But time has passed by like sand in an hourglass and I’ve learned so many things, lessons I’ve never had. I learned the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and learned that love doesn't mean leaning, and company doesn't mean security. I learned to accept my defeats with my head up and my eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.

I'm 23 and love already has me tired, disgusted and dismissed. Every day I get up with battle wounds from fighting cupid's misfortune, with one hand over my eye and cuts all over my rib areas, and a hole in my heart. It’s like the devil moved into my heart and the bastards pitched a tent. I've lost who I am, I'm not the same old me. I don't like who I've become. I'm stuck between a rock and hard place and I can't seem to find my way out. These cold empty walls are of my making; I created them and they have me shaking. Hiding from mistakes will last for a moment; lust deceived me into believing it was real. But how quickly the atmosphere changed and the once felt love is now hurt that I feel. So I’ll stay true to myself, stand tall, and won’t despair.

I’ll set my soul free from doubt and one day my other half, he will prepare.
Adam had to ask, remember, for God to make Eve not before he was ready, or his purpose unfound. Adam knew when he asked the truth about love, that without two holes, a union would tumble right to the ground. So the question remains, do I know who I am? Have I lost my way from loves built upon lust? I won’t allow others confused to leave me tossed. I’ll re-steady myself, continue my journey, and won't let the life of the world make love hurry. Life may mislead you and bring you many things that aren’t that great.
If life misleads you it’s for you to learn something new every day. It isn’t to punish you or because it hates you like most people would think. If it wasn’t too misleading to you, and cause havoc, and pain and broken hearts in your life, then you would live a perfect life, but what good is it if you don’t learn?
Life is full of surprises and sometimes hurtful ones and you never can prepare or foreshadow if good things or bad things will happen. That’s why I don’t regret anything, not even the broken hearts, losing loved ones, the pain and havoc and doing things that I shouldn’t have done. This is the reason why I am the way I am and I act the way I do. Maybe I just need someone to love me so badly because I’m really not okay. Most relationships tend to fail not because the absence of love. Love is always present. It's just that one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little. As we all know, the heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left. Maybe that's the reason why the heart is not always right. In the end this love thing is just a game and now I just want to hear you scream my name.
No psychological attraction, I'm done with the pain. Karma has finally appeared only to give me the chance I've earned, for me to refuse you because my heart was taught a lesson that it finally learned.

...I just thought of speaking for you, a friend.
The unspoken has been written. And the unwritten is yet to come!

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